Forewarning: This first post is lengthy and may at times seem jumbled but as it's my blog, I don't care :)
I do not care how much I
weigh. I care about being healthy and how I feel. That being said, I take
numbers and measurements of my body for reference, and by default, being truly healthy leads to
looking hot in a bikini on the beach. I know everyone defines health in a
different way, but it is a combination of things. My definition of being
healthy falls pretty close to Mr.
Webster’s:
1: enjoying health and
vigor of body, mind, or spirit: well
2: evincing health
<a healthy complexion>
3: conducive to health
4: a: prosperous,
flourishing
b: not small of feeble: considerable
Most people miss the
mind and spirit part. A few years ago, my mind was not in a healthy place, so
much so to where I didn’t even see where the body and spirit were in bad shape.
I knew I was fat and out of shape, but my mind wasn’t healthy enough to deal
with things, and so I just kind of ignored it. I didn’t care that I felt like
crap and had no energy, or that I had doubled size since high school.
One day, about three
years ago, I just kind of “woke up.” You hear stories all the time about people
who have epiphanies that get them going to get in shape, and they often have a
specific instance or example of what and when that was. For me, it wasn’t a
certain thing, but a combination of things. Things that had come up before, but
instead of doing anything about it, I just say there and cried: My boyfriend no
longer truly found me physically attractive. My size 16s were getting tight. I
saw a college graduation photo and looked huge. The thought of me in a swim
suit was disgusting. I couldn’t make it up a flight of stairs without being
winded. I stepped on the scale and saw 220.
So I started watching
what and how much I was eating. I started doing more physical activity. I also
worked as a nurse on a floor where I rarely got to sit down, let alone eat,
other than when charting. Though arguably not the healthiest of ways, I dropped
down to 190. I was starting to fit pretty well into size 14s and some 12s. I
felt better, but still not great. Still not healthy in the mind, body AND
spirit.
I FINALLY got a job in
my city, where I didn’t have to commute an hour+ each way, worked my way up to
a little more money and decided I needed to get a personal trainer. So in June
2012, right after my 28th birthday, I started seeing a trainer that
I went to high school with. The goal here was to get healthy and fit enough to
feel confident as Jessica Rabbit for Halloween, which requires a pretty toned
and fit bod to pull off. I didn’t have a lot of extra money, so I was only able
to see her every two weeks, but took what we did and did work outs on my own at
home. My measurements then (again for
reference) were:
Chest: 46
Waist: 30
Hips: 47
Thighs: L(26.5) R
(26.5)
Arms: L(13) R (13.5)
189 lbs
I saw improvement in
muscle tone and strength, decreased fat, but never really took any measurements
or weight as I wanted a good two months of and managed to keep working on
training aggressively until July when I thought I sprained my ankle. I took a
few weeks off to let it heal, and then got back at it in August. I was supposed
to meet my trainer on August 30th, but due to a hurricane that week,
we cancelled. The next day, August 31, 2012, I unexpectedly lost my mom.
Those around me would
comment about how strong I was or how well I handled it. In some ways, they are
correct. I took care of what needed to be done; I handled my mom’s stuff, I focused
on my school work, went to work and worked hard on a project I had recently
been assigned to take part in, and they probably only saw me cry a couple of
times. The reality is, I was not completely healthy and so I lost that mental “it”
that I had found earlier to give me the drive to get healthy. This led to me
being even more unhealthy. I no longer cared too much about what I was eating
or how much. I stopped exercising and working out. The 14s stopped fitting, I
went back to the 16s. Those started to get tight again. But still, I didn’t pay
attention to what I was eating or how much.
Meanwhile, my ankle
kept hurting more, to where I could hardly walk. September 2012 I discovered I
didn’t sprain my ankle; I had tendonitis in one tendon, and it had a small tear
in it. So I had physical therapy, a brace, and shoe inserts. When that didn’t
help, I was given the option of tendon replacement (which was advised against
at this age) or being placed in a cast for six weeks. Naturally I went with the
cast, which finally came off March 8th. The tear had healed, but
there was still some minor inflammation and occasional pain. I was told that if
the inflammation and tendon did not heal naturally over time, the only other
options were re-casting or surgery.
It was at this time,
around the end of March, that I finally came out of the “depressed” part of
grieving (as I have no other way to describe it). Though I wish I could change
things and bring her back, losing my mom helped me grow in my mind and spirit.
It changed a lot of the ways I look at things and gave me a new perspective. I
decided I had to get back on track, and would have to learn to make that dress
because that’s how mom would want it. Not accomplishing goals I set or things I
wanted to do in life would piss her off; she was fond of saying to go after
what you really want and be happy because you never know what will happen. I
stopped feeling sorry for myself. I decided that my intermittent ankle pain and
inflammation was not going to stop me from being healthy, and that I was going
to find a way to get in shape and possibly help my ankle by strengthening the
rest of me.
April 1 I weighed in at
212lbs. I joined the Y and began water aerobics, low impact cardio (elliptical,
bike) and weights on the machines. I started feeling better. Mentally, I was in
the best place I had been in a looooong time. I decided to start making changes
to my diet to help my body be healthy and recover. I slowly cut out “crap” as I
call it; candy, chocolate, “snacks,” chips, pretzels, cookies. You know, all
the good stuff. In May,I cut out a lot of breads; I started eating a lot of
fruit and vegetables had an occasional yogurt, and usually had an organic
oatmeal for breakfast. In the evenings I might have some whole wheat spaghetti,
or some rice with stir-fry (made with soy sauce). I also gave up soda, which I
used to drink like water.
For the next few weeks
of May, I felt like dead crap. I was tired all the time, I had no energy, and I
had to cut back on the workouts just to have energy enough to get to work. If I
pushed too hard, I would go to sleep at 6pm and wake up at 7am. Finally, by the
end of the month, I was starting to feel normal again. I could do 3-4 days a
week working out, work and be okay. Not great, but okay. I decided I was time
to step it up again, and I was referred to a training facility by a friend (My
previous trainer was about an hour away, and I was now working a different
schedule, so I needed someone close that I could see once a week).
Thursday June 6, I met
with Amber, and we went over my goals and what I wanted. She convinced me to
come twice a week for 30 min instead of once a week for an hour. She made some
recommendations to cut out all grains and dairy, and to read this book, “It
Starts with Food.” The grains and dairy thing seemed a bit out there, but I
decided I would look into it. I also bought the book the next day after reading
some reviews. Once I started reading it, I was done by the end of the weekend. What
I’m about to say sounds very cliché, but the authors are right: that book will
change your life.
I decided to follow the
Whole30 recommendations, though not actually do a whole 30 because I knew that
would be impossible having just bought some groceries at the store that were on
the no-no list. But I did resolve to cut the really bad things like MSG (not
that I ate too much of them) and to not eat grains and dairy as much as
possible. (This included making my own soy sauce substitute for with coconut
aminos for stir-fry, which was delicious).
The morning of Monday 6/10
I weighed in at 206. Measurements I took were:
Hips 47.5
Waist 33.5
Thighs R(29) L(29.5)
I met with Amber for our first session that afternoon. Turns
out, training with her was just like doing one-on -one CrossFit, which I had
never heard of before and will talk more about later. We went over some basic
movements, then did the basic workout as fast as I could. This consisted of
rowing 200 meters, doing 20 butt to the ground squats, 30 situps, 15 pushups
and 10 ring rows. (Note: the ring row/push up numbers may be reversed; I was
really starting to lose it at that point).
Probably solely due to the fact that I had been doing some activity, I
did all that in 6:01. I have NEVER felt so out of shape in my life! My heart
was racing and I couldn’t get enough air. It took me ten minutes to recover.
And by recover I mean be able to speak and get my heart rate below 100; it was
a good 20 minutes before I felt “okay” again. I left feeling slightly sore and
soaked in sweat, but accomplished.
The next day, I woke up pretty sore. By that afternoon, I
was the most sore I have ever been in my life. I found myself going to the
handicap stalls to use the rail in the bathroom because there was no other way
I was getting up and down from that toilet without it. I kept to the Whole30
pretty well this first week, except for using a tsp of dressing that had soy in
it (one if the items I had just bought). The soreness was still there when I
(some would argue stupidly lol) returned for more on Thursday. I had a mild
sore throat, but I sucked it up.
The next week I was still with a sore throat, but I went
Monday anyway. Wednesday I had to leave work a bit early, and I cancelled for
Thursday. I still tried to follow the Whole30, but had to have some sprite and
crackers to keep the drugs down to go to work. Thankfully, whatever it was
passed quickly and by Saturday I felt better than I had in a long time.
The next session we repeated the workout from day 1 and much
to my surprise, I had cut a minute and a half off of my time. I was feeling
better and better. I started noticing the signals that my body was sending my
about food, and recognizing when I was hungry or not. By the end of this third
week, I was eating 3 good meals a day, and that was sustaining me.
Monday July 1st marked the 3 full weeks since
following the Whole30/Paleo diet most of the time, and since I started seeing
Amber. I wasn’t sure how much/if any weight I had lost, but I knew I had lost
some inches some places. My 14s were becoming loose on me, and several
co-workers had made remarks like “Have you been losing weight?” because my
pants were getting saggy in the thighs/butt/hips, where they were tight before.
But more importantly, I felt great! I began awakening with the alarm,
(sometimes even just before) with energy and ready to do things. No longer was
I fighting the snooze button or feeling like I didn’t sleep all night. I was
well rested and ready to go. And, for the first time that I can remember, I
started waking up HUNGRY.
I plan on weighing/measuring on the 1st of every
month so for July 1st, here’s what I got:
Chest: 36
Hips: 46
Waist: 32.5
Thighs R(28) L(28.5)
200lbs
So the point? This
whole CrossFit thing combined with a Paleo diet is not only producing fast
results physically, but I as a whole FEEL better. So far (I realize I’m only
3.5 weeks in), I am handling stress better and am definitely in a better
mental, physical and spiritual place. I do not feel as “up and down” throughout
the day, or sluggish in the afternoon (which is how I have the energy to focus
and write all this after a long day). I am pretty productive most of the time, and
when it hits 9 or 10 at night, my body is ready for bed. I pass out and wake up
feeling refreshed.
Occasionally I crave a
candy bar or the cake that the patient brought for the nurses, but 99% of the
time, I turn it down because I know the negative effects it will have on my
health. That’s not to say I don’t ever indulge, but even when I have it has
been a few bites of whatever. Literally, I had some cold stone the other night
and ate 7 or 8 bites max before I felt my body saying I had too much sugar.
One thing I have seen
out there is that “CrossFit causes injuries.” I have looked around the
interwebs, reviewed both sides of the argument and came to the conclusion that
if done improperly with inadequate supervision, than it could lead to injury. So
can a lot of things, however, and there is some personal responsibility there
to do your research. Ask yourself some questions. Is your trainer/coach
certified AND knowledgeable? Do they really grasp the concepts and movements,
or are they trying to get you to do as much as you can as fast as you can? Do
you know how much your true max is? Are you doing things with the correct form?
If not, is there someone who is going to correct you and be watching you?
You also have to know
your body and your limits. My ankle actually does not hurt. At all. I give most
of this credit to the diet, but surely if I was doing something wrong, I would
definitely feel it on me weak ankle. Also, while I felt really sore the first
week, my body has adjusted and I do not hurt anywhere at all. I also know that
if I’m told to do an exercise with x amount of reps in x amount of time, I’m
not going to pick the heaviest weight I can handle. I’m going to pick a lighter
weight so I don’t tire myself out in the first 10 reps out of 25. As your
muscles get fatigued and tired, you get sloppy and lose good form. And that’s
when you get hurt, no matter what you’re doing.
